Self Discipline plus Self Kindness

I read something recently that got me, once again, thinking about self discipline. Often in our endeavour to be disciplined we confuse being hard and tough on ourselves with discipline, but the two are not the same. Deprivation is not discipline, nor is emotional, psychological or even physical ‘self flagellation’.

Self discipline results from the ability to make, and carry out,  choices that are right and necessary to achieve desired goals, rather than to run with what is enjoyable or pleasurable. In fact, extreme and unbalanced self discipline is a form of self indulgence.

No, self discipline needs to be tempered with ‘self kindness’ in order to create a healthy balance and achieve the positive results that we look for. There is an injunction that ‘we should love others as we love ourselves’ the implication being that unless we show ourselves some love we will not be able to love others.

Self discipline and self kindness are not opposed, and , in fact, work hand in hand to achieve the ultimate success we look for. And most importantly it prevents the situation where our harsh, self disciplined lifestyle becomes a burden to those around us.

Surely, the ultimate definition of success should be success in all facets of life, not just in one, at the expense of all the others.

At the end of the day, yes, we do need to apply discipline to ourselves and our lives, but as we do that, let’s not forget to show ourselves some kindness.